|"my feelings are not up for debate"
||[May. 27th, 2004|04:47 pm]
windysea said in a comment to another post that she was finding it useful to remind herself, "My feelings are not up for debate." It seems like a low time in the term for a lot of folks, and so it seemed like maybe a little Dr. Albert Ellis would be in order:|
10 Irrational Ideas
1. You must -- yes, must -- have love or approval from all the people you find significant.
2. You must prove thoroughly competent, adequate, and achieving; or, a saner but still foolish variation, that you at least must have competence or talent in some important area.
3. When people act obnoxiously and unfairly, you should blame and damn them, and see them as bad, wicked, or rotten individuals.
4. You have to view things as awful, terrible, horrible, and catastrophic when you get terribly frustrated, treated unfairly, or rejected.
5. Emotional misery comes from external pressures and you have little ability to control or change your feelings.
6. If something seems dangerous or fearsome, you must preoccupy yourself and make yourself anxious about it.
7. You can more easily avoid facing many life difficulties and self-responsibilities than undertake more rewarding forms of self-discipline.
8. Your past remains all-important and because something once strongly influenced your life, it has to keep determining your feelings and behavior today.
9. People and things should turn out better than they do and you must view it as awful and horrible if you do not find good solutions to life's grim realities.
10. You can achieve maximum human happiness by inertia and inaction or by passively and uncommittedly "enjoying yourself."